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YES NO
8. Does he frequently rearrange your home life to accommodate his job?
YES NO
9. When you are enjoying family and friends, is he focused on work?
YES NO
10. Is he bringing more work home now than a year ago?
YES NO
11. In his heart of hearts does he believe,  I must succeed.
YES NO
12. Would he agree with this statement:  I have more work than I can possibly complete. I need more hours in the day.
YES NO
13. Would he agree with the statement,  If I worked fewer hours, I don't know what I would do with my spare time.
YES NO
14. Have you complained about his long hours?
YES NO
15. Does he believe,  If I don't do it, it will be done wrong?
YES NO
16. Does he frequently break promises to accommodate his work schedule?
YES NO
17. Is he a perfectionist?
YES NO
18. Does he procrastinate in an attempt to perform tasks perfectly?
YES NO
19. Does he go to extremes to be organized?
YES NO
20. Could he be described as inflexible and rule oriented?
YES NO
(Adapted from The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests, McCoy, 2005)
Scoring the Test
Give one point for each appropriate, indicative answer. I determine which answers are indicative. It gives me a sense of power.
Answers
l) y, 2) c, 3) y, 4) y, 5) y, 6) y, 7) y, 8) y, 9) y, 10) y, ll) y, 12) y, 13) y 14) y 15) y 16) y 17) y 18) y 19) y 20) y
Score 0
Your mate is independently wealthy or looking for a job. Or, if he is employed, he is very laid back and knows how to enjoy his time away from work. He
doesn't allow work to blend into your family time. His boundaries are very obvious and he is highly unlikely to drift into workaholism.
Scores 1 to 7
He is hard working. Though, if he is not careful he could gradually slide into workaholism. Why not nip this in the bud? Suggest meeting for lunch and take a
little walk? Eat your food on a park bench, near a fountain or wherever the atmosphere is inviting. Suggest leaving his work at the office, perhaps he will take the
pledge and start leaving work were it belongs at work. Talk with him (gently) about learning to be more laid back and relaxed. It is simple. The next time he
wants to work overtime, ask him to ponder this thought,  When Gabriel blows the horn for me, will I feel at peace, assured that I had been there for the people I
loved? Or, will I remember many long nights sitting alone at my desk. These suggestions are normally well received if you show genuine concern for him and
appreciation for the things he does that are family oriented.
Scores 7 to 14
It appears that he may be in an advanced stage of overworking and underplaying. He might want to ask himself what price he is paying and is he willing to pay
to feed addiction. What would it take to get unstuck? What are the obstacles to a little freedom and fun, not to mention, rewarding relationships? As Dr. Donald
Wetmore says,  If it frustrates you that they don't allow laptops on a Ferris wheel, you may be a workaholic. Does that sound like him? If it does, learn to say  no.
It is an easy word to remember and difficult to misunderstand. Make a list of the things that can bring pleasure to your relationship. Talk with him about your needs
as his partner. Ask him to start incorporating them (at least two or three) into your couple's schedule each week. It could become a healthy habit.
as his partner. Ask him to start incorporating them (at least two or three) into your couple's schedule each week. It could become a healthy habit.
Scores 15 to 20
He is just inches away from spontaneous combustion. Stand back, please. However, if he will discuss the test and his score with you, he has begun to explore life
after work. This is a very good start. He should be commended.
He can learn about the different types of workaholism and how to overcome his tendency to deprive himself of relaxation and rejuvenation. Author Dr. David
Posen suggests asking one's self,  Why am I doing this. He may be surprised at his answers. Does he know that he could actually be more productive if he took
breaks to refresh and refuel? Now, he can repeat after me,  My name is_________and I am a Workaholic.  There, that's the first step toward a healthful solution.
Conclusion
Men overachieve and risk their health, families, and friends for various reasons. Your mate may seek attention, an adrenaline surge, to feel worthy or he may simply
love his work. He is probably amendable to change, if approached in a sensitive, caring way. There are advantages and disadvantages to loving a Workaholic. He
will provide well, he has many valuable characteristics (i.e., tenacious, conscientiousness, firm) or he would not be successful. The disadvantages are also numerous
(i.e., late nights, inflexible, stubborn, perfectionist). You may have noticed that the  good and the  bad traits are simply a matter of degree. A perfectionist can
also be called conscientious. Perseverance, taken to an extreme becomes stubborn. Firm can cross the line into inflexible. You will have to decide where the
dividing line lies.
Next, we will meet the Eternal Jocks. They are stuck in time, at the moment of their glory as high school or college athletes. They bloomed early and decided
they were smitten by the glow of constant admiration. Now, they refuse to step one foot outside their field of dreams. If you are an avid sports fan, a relationship
with an Eternal Jock might fit comfortably. You can learn how to motivate your Jock by using the same principles a coach uses on the field. This type of
manipulator has one significant advantage; his team played an essential part in his life. Team spirit means he plays well with others; this is something that cannot be
said about most of the other types. He values team loyalty.
You are part of his team. Rah, rah.
CHAPTER 4
The
Eternal Jock
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
Yogi Berra
ETERNAL JOCKS CAN BE very attractive to women. They are self-confident, accomplished storytellers, and probably in good physical condition. They normally have
many friends and an active social life. What woman would not enjoy a buff, popular person? Is your partner an Eternal Jock? Let's learn more and then decide.
What do we know about the Jocks? According to the popular media, Jocks are spoiled, loud, vulgar, aggressive womanizers. Jocks are believed to blossom early
and then coast through life reliving their early glory. They are said to have a sense of entitlement and, in their slightly slanted perspective, still view themselves as
the macho, privileged males they were in their brief early stardom.
The other perception of athletics, especially in junior high school, is conversely very positive. One reads that team sports teach self-sacrifice, discipline, and fair
play, and that they discourage delinquency and keep adolescents off drugs. Therefore, it appears that participation in team sports works miracles for younger
children. However, once they enter high school or college, there may be a spontaneous metamorphosis into arrogant, boisterous jerks.
An Eternal Jock will be easy to recognize. On your first date, he will amuse you with a blow-by-blow recreation of his astounding winning touchdown in the last [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]