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as they did, but he hardly noticed it, focused as he was on the hollow
of Ben’s neck.
“Can you feel it?” Ben asked, his voice ragged with need.
“Oh,” was Jasper’s only reply.
“Bite me,” he panted.
Ben in the Shadows
53
God, he wanted to. His mouth opened of his own volition, but he
bit back the urge, shaking his head even as rational thought flew from
it. But when Ben sank his teeth into his shoulder, Jasper lost control,
biting into that sweet spot as he came and came and came.
It was like no orgasm he had ever experienced in his life. The
copper taste of Ben’s blood was sharp on his tongue again, but it was
different this time, and he lapped at the wound, eager to taste it. He
could feel his mate’s love, impossible as it was, flowing into him—
could feel his own self-hatred lessening as the wound on his shoulder
pulsed underneath him. Other feelings replaced it, strange, shaky
confused ones he couldn’t quite disentangle, ones that made him
uneasy and afraid but alive. Ben jerked and spasmed with the force of
his own orgasm, and Jasper wrapped his hand around the inside of
Ben’s thigh, pulling him up, wanting to pull him closer, hoping that
Ben, too, felt their souls entwine and needing some physical
confirmation of the act.
Jasper wrapped his arms around Ben, kissed his neck, tousled his
hair, nipped his ear, but Ben continued to thrust against him long after
Jasper felt him jerk and ride out the wave of his own orgasm.
Something was wrong. Jasper was certain Ben had come, but now he
seemed desperate and needy, as if the act hadn’t sated him but left
him longing.
Jasper pulled away from him and dropped his hand to Ben’s cock.
“Hey,” he said softly. “Let me take care of you.”
But when Ben turned, his hand flew away from him, terrified. His
face was white, and his eyes were nervous. His mouth was covered in
blood.
* * * *
In movies, the screen always faded to black when the leads kissed.
Ben had spent a lot of time imagining those private moments after
that last fade out, but nothing he’d imagined had prepared him for
54
Ellen Ginsberg
this. Not the pleasure he felt when Jasper bit him or the horror he felt
when he bit into Jasper.
The feel of Jasper’s blood running into him was pleasant. That
much he could determine. He liked the feel of his body against his,
the feel of his cock inside him, even the feel of his skin between his
teeth. Especially that. The second Ben bit down, he came like crazy.
But even as his body gave in to the feeling, he’d started to stiffen.
Something inside him—or rushing into him, more precisely—had
made him want to recoil from Jasper. His erection wouldn’t go away,
as if to say this isn’t finished, and his body ground against him, but he
didn’t think he could take anymore.
It was like his mind had been poisoned.
He stared at Jasper, wiping the blood from his mouth, cursing the
gesture when he saw him flinch as if struck by it. He was certain the
distaste was written across his face. “What happened?” he asked.
Jasper turned away from him, pacing the room in a frenzy. “What
happened is we fucked up. We mated.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Ben shouted.
“It means this,” Jasper said, turning on him savagely, wiping the
blood from his shoulder to show the scar tissue underneath. It was the
size of a bite mark. Ben’s bite mark. “That’ll never go away. I will
always be linked to you, and you’ll always be able to feel what I’m
feeling. So whatever fucked up shit you felt when you bit me, get
used to it. I’m part of you now. Permanently. And every time I fuck
you, every time I come inside of you, it’s going to get stronger.” He
tore up the room, the dresser drawers, the armoire, dug under the bed,
his agitation seeming to grow with each new stride he took.
“Goddamn. Goddamn.”
“What are you looking for?”
“A towel, a robe…anything I can walk to the bathroom in so I can
clean myself up.”
“Why, because you want to get rid of me?” Ben asked. “Because
you don’t want me?”
Ben in the Shadows
55
Jasper didn’t respond, only picked his shirt up off the floor and
wiped himself with it, removing the blood smear on his shoulder and
the sticky seed on his cock. That was as much of an answer as Ben
needed. Ben knew now what that awful feeling was when he bit
Jasper. It was his rejection.
Ben’s wolf prickled under the surface of his skin. “You can’t say
that. You said that we’d be stuck together forever. You have to love
me.”
Jasper took a step toward him, and Ben remembered the rush of
terrible feelings that flowed into him with his mating bite. “Like you
love me?” Jasper said, and touched his hand to the mark on Ben’s
neck. Instinctively, Ben recoiled, and Jasper withdrew his hand.
“That’s what I thought.”
Ben growled as he felt his fingertips prickle with the need to
sharpen into claws. The worst part was that he could feel Jasper now,
just like Jasper said he would, the same way Ben could feel his own
emotions when they welled inside him. Jasper was acting angry, but [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]