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themselves to be gay was increasing rapidly.
The women s prison was cleaner, more pleasant, safer, and offered one distinct advantage plenty
of women.
On Getting Off, Peculiar Ways
A man from Ohio had a bang-up time when he masturbated & literally.
He would play with his penis until he had an erection. Then, when he was completely sexually
aroused, he would shoot himself. With a gun.
But he wasn t completely crazy. He did wear a bulletproof vest.
On Getting Rid of Prostitution, Dangers of
The Vallejo Times Herald in Vallejo, California, launched a spirited campaign to get the police to
clean up a local hotbed of prostitution. Police did their job, only to find that the prostitutes had
relocated to a friendlier venue.
The new location? The parking lot of the Vallejo Times Herald . The prostitutes were conducting
business in a camper parked between two newspaper trucks.
The reaction of the paper to the revelation was not reported.
On Getting Your Neighbor s Attention, Bad Ideas for
A Santa Cruz, California, man called the police with a complaint: His neighbor was driving him
crazy. She just wouldn t leave him alone.
A police officer drove to the house to investigate. When he pulled up, he saw what appeared to be
a live chocolate Easter Bunny hopping away from the man s house. It was the next-door neighbor
who had entirely covered her nude body with chocolate and bounced over to her neighbor s house,
hoping to attract his attention.
After what the cop termed a  sticky struggle, she was arrested.
On Gum, Erotic
Is chewing gum part of a fiendish plot to destroy the morals of Egyptian virgins?
According to an Egyptian member of parliament, the answer is clearly yes.
 As soon as a girl chews this evil gum, she goes into a sexual fit and loses all self-control, he said
in a 1996 speech. Why? As he explains:  This gum, which is called the Wrigley, is flavored with the
notorious aphrodisiac spearmint and it s well known in Israel for its erotic effects.
On Hair Salons, Topless
The owner of a men s hair salon in Adelaide, Australia, came up with what he thought was a brilliant
idea to attract more business: topless hairdressing.
But then the president of South Australia s Hairdressers and Cosmetologists Employer s
Association got wind of the idea and became upset that it  would degrade the whole industry.
As the president so cogently and oddly put it:  What would happen if the girls & spill some
particular hair products on their nipples?
Unfortunately, that burning question remains unanswered.
On Handcuff and Family Dog Sex
A couple in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, decided to add some spice to their sex life by using a pair of
handcuffs. One of the members of the fun couple was handcuffed to the floor-to-ceiling bookcase in
the bedroom. Then they both handcuffed themselves together. They were all set for a hot time, when
the husband dropped the key. As he stretched to reach it, the family dog bounded over, curious to
investigate what was going on, and snuffled the floor where the key lay. The husband tried
desperately to pick up the key, but it was too late.
The dog swallowed it.
The nude couple was attached to the bookcase with no way to release themselves. They did,
however, manage to reach the phone and call the police. And the police arrived to find them still
nude, still handcuffed, and very embarrassed. As they told Patrolman Fred Hansens, they were just
 fooling around when disaster struck.
 I feel like kicking the hell out of that dog, the man added.
On High-Level Sex
Politicians and top-level executives apparently really let their hair down in the bedroom no matter
how stuffy they are in public.
Consider this: Two psychiatrists interviewed forty-two expensive call girls and found that sixty
percent of their clients were top-level government or corporate execs.
And both groups  overwhelmingly asked for whipping, bondage, and humiliation services from
the call girls. Eighty percent were married.
On High-Rise Rappelling Sex
 Hank Chiang, a Hong Kong man who lived in a high-rise, was bored with his normal routine. Every
night he would scan with his binoculars, searching for women undressing near the windows of their
high-rise apartment building. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]